Common Myths | Couples and Mental Illness

1. When a partner is diagnosed with a mental illness, the other partner’s first instinct is to leave the relationship.
False. The choice to end a relationship is difficult to make. It involves a drastic change in the values we believe in and have built our lives around. Out of attachment, most partners tend to take on responsibilities that are beyond their limits. (Vivre avec une personne souffrant de maladie bipolaire, Louise Ranollo, Psychologie Québec, May 2005)

2. People can’t get angry at their partner for their mental illness, because it is not their fault.
False. It is not uncommon to resent the other person for dragging us into this new life which has caused us to experience suffering. Many feelings can surface, including fear, pain and sorrow, as well as anger over a situation that we did not choose but must endure. Anger is a very understandable human reaction. (Vivre la maladie d’un proche, Christophe Fauré, web article, www.psychologies.com)

3. Men are more likely to care for a loved one with a mental illness.
False. Women are more likely than men to care for a parent (16% vs. 8%), while men are more likely to care for a partner (39% vs. 17%). There was no statistically significant difference between men (23%) and women (34%) in terms of caring for a child with a mental illness. (Informal/Family Caregivers in Canada Caring for Someone with a Mental Illness, Health Canada, May 2004)

4. The stigma attached to people with mental illness has been diminishing over the years.
False. Studies suggest that stigma toward people with serious mental illness has worsened in recent decades. The consequences of this stigma are serious. People with a mental illness are hired less, receive fewer promotions at work, have lower self-esteem and increased social isolation and are less likely to follow through on treatment. This paradoxical phenomenon is particularly interesting given that prescriptions for antidepressants increased by 75% in Canada from 1999 to 2004. (Rush, Angermeyer & Corrigan, 2005 and Quebec Science, March 2007)

5. It is impossible to live a peaceful life with a partner who is mentally ill.
False. People with mental illness can recover while still experiencing some symptoms. Recovery is the process by which an individual adjusts their attitudes, feelings, perceptions and life goals as they undergo self-discovery, renewal and transformation.* This ability to recover applies to romantic relationships as well. (*Spaniol, 1994)

6. Mental illness is not very common in our society.
False. Mental disorders rank first in direct public health care costs in Quebec. This situation is worrisome and deserves attention, since the prevalence of mental illness is not decreasing. In fact, it appears that the opposite is true. (Collection Mémoires & thèses électroniques, Laval University, Hélène Boulianne)